I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
