is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
