me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
