even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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