So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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