we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
