It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
