There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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