I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
