Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
