You don't have asthma, your pregnant
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
