when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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