my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
