She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
