lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize