I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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