Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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