So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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