Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
