I feel great
I just peed on a car
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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