Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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