Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
