Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Send help, water and tortillas.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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