its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
