go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
