So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
