Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You pole danced in your parka.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
