whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
