just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
