I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
