Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize