She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i out mim tonsoeep
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
