I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
