WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sarcasm needs its own font
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
