how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
