The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
