either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
