I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize