Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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