Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
