Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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