Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
