I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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