We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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