the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
