I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
