so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
