lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
