I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
