Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
