I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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