"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize