i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
