absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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