the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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