Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
