If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
