shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
