I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
