it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
