Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize