soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
