Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
