I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
