I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize