Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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