i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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