did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
