Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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