you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
