Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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