So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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