best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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