I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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