im holly from the hills drunk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize