I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
