Tell her she can't have a vagina
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
