My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
