I must be too annoying 4 u.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
