It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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