dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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